Eye Nocturne Welcomes Jerad to the Band
Posted by Jeremy | Filed under News
Eye Nocturne would like to welcome Jerad, our new bass player, to the band.
Jerad knows the bass like Captain Picard knows the Borg. In fact, he was once assimilated by a bass guitar and became one with it. Later, the bass queen tried to mate with him, but Jerad’s impossibly-strong will caused him to separate from his symbiote before it was too late. He then took the bass and made the queen eat it.
While none of that actually happened, it is true that Jerad loves the bass. He loves playing it so much that he has a bed shaped like a bass guitar. The pillows are actually made of steel, and shaped like tuning pegs. He uses the huge nickel-wound strings as covers.
That’s not really true either. What we are trying to say is that Jerad kicks ass, and is a bass-thumping, groupie-loving, Flea-worshiping, guitar-smashing, roadkill-eating mofo that can play any Les Claypool solo backwards while standing on his head.
One of Jerad’s favorite hobbies is staring into the mirror shouting “Get to da choppa!” over and over again. He also enjoys listening to Black Sabbath.
Welcome, Jerad. Now bring us some beer.